This is basically an irrelevant post. I am going to share a dream that I had last night that scared the shit out of me. I don’t want to rip this dream apart and over-analyze it, because the meaning is probably scarier than the dream itself.
In the beginning I was on a trip in Paris with many people from my past, mostly close friends that I don’t speak to anymore. I fell in the mud numerous times while waiting in line to ride a horse, but mud didn’t seem to be anywhere else. I was the only one that was stuck, and they all looked at me like I embarrassed them. They chose to take the horse rides without me and did not wait for me to finish mine before moving on to their site-seeing. I felt hurt and then my dream jumped to costume shopping in San Francisco with an old co-worker. We weren’t having any luck at the store and exited to the street where a man was being jumped by a couple of street robbers. I immediately start running, when I hear gun shots and see blood spatter in front of me, I drop to the floor and squint my eyes in the direction of the thieves. I pray that I won’t get hurt, but one of the men shoots me in the head. The only thing that I could think of was whether or not I would survive in order to go to a Halloween party. I touched my wound and it was warm and there was blood pouring onto the street ahead of me.
And then I woke up. I didn’t die in my dream, but holy shit I got shot. I woke up oddly content for a person who had just been shot, too. In my life I have had some weird/morbid dreams, but I don’t think that any of them can top this. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all day. I am one step away from reading Freud’s The Interpretation of Dreams to feel less crazy. However, I did look up what being shot in the head could symbolize and the response seemed to be that it was “self-punishment.” What have done recently that deserves punishing?
Then again, I am covered in bug bites and did double up on Benadryl before bed.