Just as a reminder to myself, I fucked up that second job I was planning on pursuing. If you’ve read any of my previous post you’d know by now that I am the queen of excuses, and this story, I’m afraid, will play out no differently.
I went to my follow up interview that I wrote about what feels like ten years ago, and was offered the job immediately. The rush of pride I felt in that moment knowing my skills were valued enough to be considered for something beyond slinging coffee was incomparable. Everything from that moment on, however, became extremely rushed. I was given one week to have a physical, finger prints, shots, vaccines, my college transcripts, etc., ready and delivered to them via email or I wouldn’t be eligible for my orientation date. And you see, I was on a sort of a time crunch, they give you an incentive to be licensed for this position with the state within 45 days for a bonus, and they are very serious about pumping you out of training as fast as they can.
I learned once I was in attendance at my initial orientation day after I killed myself collecting all of that crap in my time slot that if I didn’t finish nothing would have happened to me. A third of my orientation group hadn’t come anywhere near finishing and there were no consequences. The speed at which I had moved from signing “you’re hired” papers to orientation was my first red flag, the second was lack of consequence for the non-compliers and urgency to get us through the training. During the first orientation day, I was told all about the 40 hours of online training I’d have to complete, the tests I would have to take and then the big test I’d have to take after that, without the help of notes. My third red flag waved when I learned that we were learning different material than the state would test us on, but we’d have to learn both at a rapid pace either way.
Fast forward two weeks later (because two weeks was the amount of time we had to finish the online training or we’d have to contact HR and let them know we need an extension which would “ultimately ruin our shot at the bonus!”) I had passed the job provided exam, which lead to me immediately getting bombarded with messages about the clients I was scheduled. I couldn’t actually work with them until I was signed up for the state test, which was a timely process that was out my control. Ultimately, I passed the state test, but had clients taken from me because I wasn’t ready in time. And when the day finally came for me to meet with my first client, my supervisor “ghosted” me and never let me know the time or place where we would be meeting this client. I went to the office to ask them for further information, but they couldn’t tell me whether or not I had any clients nor did they have the supervisor I’d been given as a point of contact down as my supervisor. So I quit on the spot.
My other job was stressful enough, but at least there I have a 401K, paid time off, and benefits. I’m not in the business of jumping to ship into chaotic waters. Something I am grateful for over this three month nightmare experience is that I learned I am worthy of finding something better. I have gotten to this point in my life because I have been complacent and I promised myself going into 2019 that I’d be courageous. Maybe that means that I applied for a job impulsively, and maybe being courageous also means that I left a weird situation before it could go bad. I know now that I am capable of applying to new jobs, I do better at interviewing than I expected, and I am hirable. That is valuable enough for me coming out of this experience.
I’m not sure where this road leads me now, though. I have let my current boss believe I am still working a second job, because the hours I am getting are more predictable this way. I had also asked to step down back into a barista role with less responsibility, which I will also still allow to happen. I am hoping that with a less stressful role in my current job I will have the energy and clarity to begin focusing on things that will serve me better .
An Aspiring Wanderer 