Well, all the time, to be honest. But yesterday I caught a real life glimpse of myself and my double chin. It hasn’t been a secret to me that I have been gaining an unreal amount of weight. I have probably gained around 20 pounds since my wedding 2 and half years ago, I feel like my diet and exercise routine (which is zero exercise) have been consistent so I can only blame the change on my metabolism changing as I age. Truthfully I eat more bread and drink more beer in Chicago than I ever have before, but I don’t easily take responsibility for my life so we will pretend I didn’t say that.
About once every two months I convince myself that it is time to start eating healthier and reduce my portions and drink less alcohol. I am semi-succesfull for 6 days, tops. I have no plan, I have no idea what I am doing, I have no idea what is healthy for me. Not to mention my husband is hands-down a meat and potatoes kind of guy. I have never consumed so much white rice in my life, he loves it and needs it in every meal. I understand that meat and potatoes doesn’t translate to rice, but its white and starchy and adds no nutritional value to my diet, same shit, right?
We are getting ready to move back to California for the next chapter, and I can’t go back looking like the moving truck that got us there. Self-Deprecation is not cute, but it’s a defense mechanism that I am well aware of, if I saw it first than I can’t be hurt. I always tell my friends that if they are aware of the thing they do that hurt them then they have no excuse not to fix them, so its my turn to practice what I preach. I hurt because I am unhappy with the way I look, it is time to take control. I don’t want to make fun of myself to make myself feel normal, it isn’t healthy.
I went to sleep last night with a stomach full of meatballs, bread, and wine. I was happy in the moment eating them but have a food and wine hangover this morning as I write this. I decided this morning that I need to change and I need guidance that I am not going to get from anyone, but myself and a few books. I ordered a Whole30 cookbook and Whole30 Day-by-Day journal today to guide me through my healthy lifestyle change. I understand the concept of Whole30 and food that are acceptable on the diet, I just can’t stay motivated or keep up with it. I am not creative in the kitchen and can’t make chicken breast and roasted broccoli every night and think that it is sustainable.
I plan to start a real Whole30 and stick to it once my books arrive. I am very excited and proud of myself that I took a step closer to getting real about my health. Part of the journey is accountability, so I wanted to stop by here and put it in writing that I plan to begin this journey. Maybe some of you can help me out or give me recommendations for this opportunity!